Edge Development Update: Notify A No-Coiner

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Edge is proud to announce our new “Notify A No-Coiner” messaging service that allows Edge users to alert radical No-Coiners of all the massive gains they’re missing out on.

We all have certain people in our lives, whether they be friends, family, or social media rivals, that have teased us and doubted our insistence that Bitcoin is sparking a paradigm shift in money and finance. No matter how much evidence we provide that there are indeed titanic shifts happening in cyberspace, these “No-Coiners” have heckled us relentlessly and continue to parrot the same FUD they’ve been fed by the mainstream media for years. But now, thanks to the latest release of the Edge Wallet, you can annoy them in a sophisticated and automated fashion! 

To enable our “Notify A No-Coiner” messaging service, simply go to Settings > Notifications > there you’ll see two options: 

(1) Enable Price Alerts for My Bags and (2) Enable Price Alerts for a No-Coiner. 

Tap on the second option and enter an email address or phone number of a known No-Coiner. The No-Coiner will be notified each time the price of an asset you hold in your account moves up by over 3% in an hour, over 10% in 24 hrs, over 25% in a week, over 50% in 30 days, and over 250% in 90 days!

Along with the price notifications, we also send out pre-configured messages such as “How’s your fiat savings account lookin?”, “I’m sure gold will pump any day now!”, “I don’t think the tulip bubble had multiple bull markets, did it?”, and many more that help you rub it in somewhat tastefully.

The nay-sayers and the haters have been relentless and it’s time to give them a taste of their own medicine with our messaging service. We’ve been quiet and modest for far too long letting the ignorant and loud spew FUD ad nauseum. It’s time to humble them with some big numbers and rhetorical jabs. If you need help setting this service up, don’t hesitate to contact support at aprilfools@edge.app.

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