With the recent release of our SDK, many highly successful people and businesses have been eager to partner with us, including none other than Mr. Donald J. Trump himself.
We are proud to announce TrumpWallet — a cryptocurrency wallet that trumps all the rest. We’ve made the best deals to bring in the best people to do the best work on this wallet and it will fix all the problems current wallets face because it’s a winner.
We’re building the wallet and you’re gonna pay for it. TrumpWallet will be available for pre-order in the Google Play Store for $19.95 to keep the riff raff out. It won’t be available in the App Store because only terrorists use Apple devices.
TrumpWallet is the wallet of the people; the American People. It’s the first of its kind to limit transacting by location, you don’t have to worry about wasting your precious crypto on people who hate us for our freedom or want to take American jobs. It’s made in America by Americans, for Americans. No losers allowed. TrumpWallet is gonna be YUGE and it’s gonna make America great again.
TrumpWallet uses cutting edge technology to detect the income status of the user. You’ll know that if you’re able to use it you belong to a special club whose business achievements are all self-made and have nothing to do with the fact that your dad bankrolled your career.
This is a wallet any blue-blooded American can hold no matter how tiny their hands are. And for those generous spenders, we’ve coded in the ability to file for bankruptcy from right within the app!
Be careful giving this wallet bad reviews — it will only increase its rank in the Google Play store.
TrumpWallet: the champagne wishes and caviar dreams of cryptocurrency wallets.
P.S. happy April Fools’ 🥳